Once again, I apologize for being inconsistent at this whole new venture I began. I guess I am still learning how to manage things around me with a toddler who is experiencing so many new emotions every single day. I recently read on Insta how it's important to heal your inner child before you start your own family. For some reason I don't think that's ever going to happen for our age group because the generational conditioning is so deeply embedded that sometimes even if we take so many precautions we still end up acting like our previous generations when our child tests our patience. No I don't mean we raise our voice or end up spanking. That's a hard NO. But the feeling of losing control over them is sometimes so overwhelming. I know I may sound vulnerable when I say it's all about helplessness during the situation of a melt down. At the same time, the fact that we have consciously taken so many steps to change our parenting style makes me feel confident that someday it will only bring happiness to our child. Giving a mobile is so easy to keep a child engaged. We see that eveytime we go out in public. Ichu has screamed and begged for screen time since she keeps seeing people addicted to phones even in our family. I have never been stricter about anything else. For that matter I have stayed calm during those melt downs and held her close saying "I am sorry I can't give phone to you. Amma is with you and you can hug me. " She pushed me and bawled and I just sat next to her while she screamed for the phone. I remember Momo asking me if we should give her the phone so that she doesn't end up hurting her throat from that voilent screams. All I did was signaling a NO. She stopped crying in 2 min and went on to find something else to play with. She hasn't asked for mobile phone ever since. I wept to sleep that night thinking how much my baby wanted to play with a phone because it hurts every mother to see her baby cry asking for something they eagerly want to experience and explore. Deep down I know I stood firm in my decision all because mobile phones can only do harm to a growing child's brain. Children learn better when they play both indoors and outdoors and engage with family as well as kids.

She yesterday asked for her favorite Messi jersey because she wanted to go out and play football with her "chettans". Thank God for some amazing kids who let a 1 year 8 month old toddler to play with them. But yeah I understand their plight too because Ichu is too busy grabbing the ball and running away while the chettans are barely sharpening their dribbling and passing skills. But hey I must say Momo is the only dad in our building who takes her out to play in the evenings. I see only mothers bringing their children to play. And no I am not talking about just stay at home mothers. There are mothers who come back from work and then bring their children to play.

Momo and I are merely healing our inner child respectively as we have Ichu's childhood in our hands. So many moments to cherish and soak in.

One step at a time